Maybe it's the ad girl in me but I always love when I product has been "new and improved" in some way...complete with a bright orange starburst on it. So now that we're in the midst of the Passover holiday, I just can't resist brainstorming on how to change it up....freshen it a bit. It's been over a thousand years, surely Passover could use an update:
1. Passover needs a spokes-animal. Easter has one. Nothing says fun holiday like a cute little animal bringing you chocolate. My vote is for a Passover Hedgehog. Chipmunks are too over-used and Christmas has already laid claim to reindeer.
2. Seasoned matzo. Seriously, you know unleavened bread would taste much better with some Cool Ranch seasoning. Maybe Nacho Cheese. Or how about Salt-n-Vinegar?
3. Elijah. What do we really know about this character? Is he a buff Mr. Clean? Or a friendly Green Giant? If we want people to care about him, let's give him some characteristics. I'm willing to guess he has a beard and speaks with an English accent. Should he wear a bow tie? Maybe cargo pants? Definitely Converse sneakers.
4. The plagues. What could be better than the Passover story? All kinds of gratuitous violence. We really need to play that up, people love blood and pestilence. Give the haggadah a PG-13 rating and everyone would want to dive right into it.
5. Don't you think a guy dressed up as Moses deserves a spot in the mall where kids can sit on his lap and take his picture?
6. I think gefilte fish gets a bad rap. Why? Because it's unattractive. It tastes perfectly good but the fact that it looks like brains doesn't do it any favors. I think we just need to make it look pretty, say, like sushi. Gefilte fish just needs a good art director.
7. Let's talk about the Four Questions. It's supposed to be read by the youngest member at the table, right? Well, let's give it to a young pop star...Demi Lovato or Taylor Swift, maybe? Let them have a go at it, pop it on Radio Disney, presto, you've got yourselves a hit. I'm willing to bet those Jonas Brothers would do it...don't they totally look like someone you sat next to in Hebrew school?
That's it friends. Any other suggestions, let me know. Oh...and happy "new and improved" Passover.