Wednesday, March 25, 2009

It's far too late for me to blogging...

considering when you get a quiet night around here, you've got to take it. Yet here I am, blogging and facebooking.

Girlfriend has still been challenging us at bedtime. We do everything you're supposed to do; the whole soothing routine thing. Yet still...many times as the clock is striking ten, girlfriend's still awake.

Tonight though...she went down easily. Despite being extremely chatty at bedtime.

As we finished reading her current fav book "Knuffle Bunny" she says:
I want to get in the book.

Me: Really? Well, you can't.

A: Yes, I can.

Me: I've always wanted to get in a book.

A: Get in.

She puts her feet on the book.

A: I'm in.

Me: Is it fun in there?

A: Yeah! Get in!

So I do. And it is fun, though I have a feeling Pride & Prejudice would more fun. I'm going to stay out of Revolutionary Road, however.


Thursday, March 12, 2009

No Sleep for Brooklyn

Before I was a parent, I was under the mistaken assumption that once your kid started sleeping through the night, they slept through the night. Ha, ha. What a joke.

What I have learned is that kids who sleep though the night only do so under the most perfect conditions. Anything less than perfect and all bets are off. Less than perfect conditions include sickness, vacation, too much heat, not enough heat, too long of a nap, too much sugar, poop issues, strange noises, company, potty training and overgrown toenails. Which means that perfect conditions only exist about 30 percent of the time, tops. Now that she's able to talk, it's gotten more interesting:

Sample evening:

Me: Okay, so Mommy's going to read you a couple of books and then Daddy will come in and brush your teeth. Okay?

A: I need Kid.

(Kid is a very very small purple bunny.)

Me: I don't know where Kid is.

A: Kid's out front. Daddy, I need kid!

(Kid arrives on the scene delivered via Daddy.)

Me: Okay, we've read all our books. So I'm going to lower the lights..

A: No! Too light!

Me: You mean more light.

A: Too light!

Me: Okay. So it's night-night time now. Time to go to sleep. Everyone sleeps. Mommy sleeps, Daddy sleeps...

A: Ice pops sleep, sorbet sleeps...

Me: Yes and kitties sleep and doggies sleep...

A: And pizza sleeps and poo-poo sleeps...

Me: Well...

A: And trees sleeps and moths sleep and Barnes & Noble sleeps...

Me: That's true, I guess it does...

A: And Elmo sleeps and Dora sleeps and mouse sleeps...NO MOUSE!

Me: Mice sleep...


Me: No, there aren't any mice around here....

(Which is not entirely true but sometimes white lies are necessary particularly around bedtime.)

A: I need an ice pop.

Me: You need an ice pop?

A: Green one.

Me: When do you get ice pops?

A: After dinner.

Me: Is it after dinner?

A: Yes!

(Which it is. Not a great argument.)

Me: It's bedtime now.

A: I'm awake.

Me: Yes, but if you close your eyes, you'll be asleep.

A: I need medicine.

Me: Are you sick?

A: Yes.

Me: What hurts?

A: My toe.

Me: Your toe hurts? Where?

A: Right here.

Me: You want me to kiss it?

A: Yes.

(I kiss it.)

Me: Feel better?

A: Yes.

Me: Now it's time to go to sleep.

A: I need Elmo. Daddy! Elmo!

Me: Elmo's right here.

A: I need the other one. Daddy! Elmo, please!

(Miraculously, J knows what she is talking about and Elmo arrives on the scene.)

Me: Okay. Daddy's here. I'm going out front now and Daddy...

(At this point she politely but forcefully pushes me out of bed, ready to have Daddy to herself.)

Cut to 10 minutes later. There is snoring in the baby monitor. Of course, when I go to check on them, J is fast asleep. A waves at me happily.

Tune in to tomorrow for the adventures of What Happens When We Leave Her Door Open At Night. Fun stuff, I'm telling you.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Really New Zealand? This is who you want as your spokespeople?

I swore I would stop writing about the tool that is Jason Mesnick and his love life. But these people just won't stay out of the news. See here for a video that Jason ans his beloved made about the rainiest place on earth, New Zealand:

And yes, Melissa was on Dancing with the Stars last night. But I'm through pimping for ABC so that's why I'm not talking about it.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Melissa speaks!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Falling into the category of...better late than never....

Well, I’m a bit late writing about this train wreck since work beckoned. And boy, is the world pissed at Jay-Jay. Not sure I can write much that hasn’t been already been said, but I’ll give it my all.

And I’ll spend most of my time on the show after the show, since that’s where things got interesting. The thing you have to ask yourself…which lots of people have been asking all day is this….was it real? Or have you been simplyh watching a crappy school play dreamed up by the likes of desperate ABC producers? Complete with bad acting and a somewhat wimpy, weepy leading man.

The finale starts with Jason’s family coming out to New Zealand to meet the ladies. His whole family is skeptical of both girls and rightly so; apparently Jay-Jay has no judgment when it comes to women. I’m sure this guy has been the poster child for unrequited love his entire life…you can picture the notes he’s been passing to the cutest girl in class since kindergarten. DO YOU LIKE ME? PLEASE CHECK YES OR NO.

Melissa is meeting the family first, getting tons of grilling from Jay-Jay’s brothers. Mel says “you seem cynical.” Of course they are! Jason’s already proposed twice in his life with nothing to show for it. Mom’s cynical too. Who’s not cynical? Ty! Ty loves Melissa. So does Jason’s dad. Mom is eventually won over. Until the next day…

That's when Molly arrives on the scene. She does not impress Ty in the least. He’s like, where’s the perky little cheerleader? Molly attempts to appear to like children. Ty tries to push her into the ocean. Eventually, reluctantly… he allows her to fly a kite with him, glaring all the way.

And then the rest of the family gets to meet Miss Molly. Jason’s sister looks at her like she’s got three heads. Brothers grill her but she is not phased because she the ice queen. Sister tells Jay-jay that Molly is “focused.” Like a cat on a mouse, she is….

Of course, Jay-jay is torn. It’s the Bachelor, they have to at least pretend to be torn for the sake of drama. His mother must go with your gut. Apparently, Jay jay has no gut. Or guts. Anyway…

After that, a whole lot of boring things happen, such as Melissa calling her mom and asking if she would be willing to talk to her possible future husband on the phone. She agrees. Melissa and Jason then jump into freezing cold water. Then Molly decides to show Jay Jay that she is a sexy mama by giving him a massage straddling him in a bikini. Lots of oil and skin, just the way ABC likes it. Surprisingly unsexy, by the way.

And then…just as Jason is deliberating his choices…we see two ungraceful legs in ugly shoes awkwardly scramble out of a limo. Why…it’s none other than Deanna! How shocking! ABC…you are so….SHOCKING! Yawn.

Apparently, Deanna just happened to be in the neighborhood and wanted to drop by to tell Jay-Jay that she should have chosen him instead of Jesse. Poor Deanna. She can barely keep a straight face. Doesn’t seem as though she really wants him to accept. She knows what Jay-jay’s answer is going to be before he even says it. “Thanks for the opportunity but I’ve got two other women I’m in love with.” Deanna looks relieved, mumbles something about not following your heart “but leading your heart” which I think is supposed to be deep but instead is just confusing. Annoying ABC writers, you guys suck. And then Deanna collects her paycheck and goes home to stare at herself in the mirror. At least her eyebrows are looking better.

And then a ring lady shows up at the house to show Jason some engagement rings. Because really, when you’re torn between two people, the very best thing you should do is propose. He picks this really yucky one, a sideways Marquis ring that I really don’t care for. But hey. It’s free. And with the way he offers up rings, he needs a bargain when he can get one.

Okay. It’s the big day. Which means we get to see the girls as they curling iron their hair, trying to make the most of it despite all the frizz in the air. Damn that New Zealand rain. Molly is decked out in an ill-fitting purple prom dress, Melissa is in a gold Grecian creation. For some reason, it looks like Melissa has a nest on the side of her head and Molly is rocking a ponytail. To make a long story short, Jay jay tells Molly he must send her home. Molly shows very little emotion, just continually repeating “I think you’re making a very big mistake.” She doesn’t cry much. Jason on the other hand, cries buckets. He does a dramatic run over a glass balcony, looking like he’s going to hurl his guts out. Just the shape you should be in before you propose to someone.

Which he does. Of course, Melissa says all kinds of things that hint at what is to come, such as “everytime I feel this happy, it gets taken out from under me.” Still, Jay jay does the deed and she says “I’m the happiest girl in the world.” Not to be outdone, he says “I’m the happiest man in the universe.” And Melissa says “I’m going to be a Mesnick.” Uh huh. Don’t go picking out the china patterns yet, Missy.

Okay. Cut to six weeks later. Chris the Dork Harrison is before us, looking serious, telling us that it’s going to be a very dramatic After the Final Rose Ceremony. He pulls Jason out alone, no audience members, onto a darkened stage. He says “You’re going to end it tonight with Melissa?” Jason, who looks as though he’s trying not to smile or cry, nods. He says “the chemistry is different between us. She knows my heart and head’s not into it.”

Then they bring a very reluctant Melissa onto the stage. She clomps up in high heels, looking pissed the whole time. He says “we’re not right for each other.” Melissa says “You don’t even want to try. Something happened and you have yet to be honest about what that is.” Jason says “I still have feelings for Molly” though he denies talking to her.

This is when it gets weird. Melissa appears to be checking out her shoes the whole time and starts referring to herself in the third person. “You don’t want to fight for Melissa. You gave Melissa a ring but you don’t want to fight for her.” And then she utters the best line of the night, which makes me doubt she wrote it herself “You’re such a bastard.” Hmmm…help from the ABC writers, perhaps?

And then she says “I trusted you with everything…the engagement was a once in a lifetime thing and you took it from me.” She hands him back the ugly ring and says “good luck in the future, good luck with Molly. Don’t call me, don’t talk to me, leave me alone.” She stomps off to the limo where she says “I’m always playing the pity card…something’s wrong with me.” Meanwhile, Jason sobs. And sobs. And sobs some more. I don’t know what the hell he’s crying about, Melissa’s the one who just got dumped for someone else on national television.

And then Jason goes away and they bring out Molly. Molly supposedly has no idea why she’s there. She says she’s never been in the position of heartbreak before but that she still has feelings for Jason. She tells Chris she wishes Jason would come out and say he’d made a mistake. And then they bring out Jason and he tells Molly “My heart hasn’t let go of you” and asks her if she wants to go out for drinks. She stares at him and then back at Chris Harrison like she is being punked.
When it becomes clear she isn’t she says “This is something I’ve dreamt of” and before you know it her hand is on his knee. And then she kisses him. And then that’s it. Jay-jay gets what he wants, Molly gets what she wants and Melissa is the luckiest of them all because she doesn’t have to deal with whiny Jason for the rest of her life.

Last night’s second After the Rose Show? Did we really need it? What was the point? Damage control? To make us like Molly and Jason a little better? They were certainly all over each other. My take on it? She’s a little annoying, that laugh of hers was starting to bug. And he is beyond annoying and very clingy. She’s gonna get sick of it fast, especially if she really runs off and moves to Seattle. The highlight of the evening is finding out Jillian will be the next bachelorette. I’m kind of nervous for her since who knows what poor saps they’ll sic on her. Hope it’s someone cool. Get used to hearing the word “a-gain” again.

So. What do you guys think? I don’t hate Jason the way everyone else does. I say...hate the game, not the player. He has the right to break up with someone if he doesn’t like them. But I think if he was a real man, he could have stood up to the producers and asked them not to do it on television. And I’m still not entirely convinced this wasn’t all set up by the producers to begin with….like perhaps he’d been hooking with Molly all along? I don’t know. We’ll never really know, will we? And more importantly…do we honestly care?

I’ll miss not blogging about this for a while…though it will also be a welcome break from Jason and his drama. I do love hearing from everyone, though. So feel free to stop by and visit the bloggy sometime…I promise to start blogging about something else…something slightly more…shall we say…intelligent. Only slightly, but still.

I'll miss you guys....have a great Wednesday.


So my Bachelor round-up was almost done and....

Sent it to myself at work and lo and behold, I can’t open it. The version of Microsoft Word at home is far more advanced than the one at work.

So you’ll have to wait until tonight (late) if you want to read about it though you may not care by then. I barely care myself at this point because I think Jason sucks. But watch for it tonight anyway.

Happy Wednesday,

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I'm alllllmost done...

writing up the Bachelor round-up. But...I'm beat. And I want to do it up right. So it'll have to wait until tomorrow...sorry!

Promise to get it all done's busy!



Because really, what else can one say about last night's show? Seriously? Ugh!

I would have been more upset with Jason if I didn't think the whole thing was rigged by the ABC producers from the get-go. Bad acting all around, particularly by Mr. Jay-jay. To quote my grandmother, oy-vey.

I promise to try to write about the train wreck by the end of the day.

Happy Tuesday,

Monday, March 2, 2009

Two things that are massively overrated....

Snow. And Jason Mesnick, Resident Bachelor.

Nevertheless, I'll be watching both tonight and you probably will be too. Don't forget, the finale is two hours and then there is an hour afterwards where supposedly a lot is going to go down (if you believe the rumors and Reality Steve).