Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Just in time for Halloween...

we are being haunted by the ghosts of Bachelors past.

Yes, Jason is engaged. Does he deserve to be on the cover of US Magazine? Probably not. Yet, here he is:

And more importantly, do you think he's had a nose job? Hmmm....what do you think?

Friday, October 23, 2009

Hypochondriacs unite!

In New York, it's sometimes hard to find your peeps. People who really really get you. Quite by accident, I found a few of mine yesterday. Standing on line at CVS, waiting to get our seasonal flu shots.

Now, you have to know that in order to even know about this flu clinic, you had to be the type who did your homework. The clinic was not listed on the website nor did the helpful folks at 311 know about it. After getting shut out of not one but two flu clinics at Duane Reade, I did some major googling. Which led me to this flu clinic at a CVS on 18th Street. The very last flu clinic at any CVS in Manhattan. My daughter got her flu shot at her doctor, my husband was getting his at work. I was not going to be the lone flu target in the house. So I got there 30 minutes early to lines and total mayhem.

Let me first say, I waited for two hours for my shot. Naturally, everyone on line got to know each other pretty well. Here are some bits and pieces of conversation on line. I would like to add that NONE of this is made up or embellished in any way. This is what I heard, word for word, scribbling down in my little black book:

"I'm going to have to do a lot of flying in the next few months. So I guess I should get a face mask."

"Oh yes. You must get a face mask."

"I wonder which aisle they're on?"

"Oh no. Don't buy the ones here. The best ones are at hardware stores. You know, the respirator kinds."

"Maybe we're all getting each other sick, standing so close together on this line."

"No, they won't give the flu shot to anyone here with symptoms. So everyone here is healthy."

"Or maybe they just appear healthy. And tomorrow they will get symptoms. Isn't that when you are most contagious, just before you get something?"

"Do you think they are Purell-ing between people?"

"They better make it cooler in here or people will start passing out. And then CVS will be in big trouble."

"Yes, they should pass out bottles of water."

"I've been shut out of three different flu clinics already."

"Are you going to get the Swine Flu vaccine?"

"I don't know. But I am going to get the pneumonia vaccine."

"Really? I didn't know it existed."

"I might get the pneumonia vaccine but not swine flu. Because that way if I get swine flu, it won't give me pneumonia."

"I didn't know they made so many different kind of protein bars. Or amino acids. Or protein shakes."

"Yeah. I could really go for a malted."

"My friend stopped eating in restaurants because of the flu."

"Well, if she came here to get vaccinated, she wouldn't have to worry."

"Can we pick which nurse gives us the vaccine? I don't like the look of that one."

"If people are willing to wait on line for a movie or a restaurant, why wouldn't they wait on line for this?"

Ah. I love New York.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Breaking Bachelor case you care...

Jason and Molly are engaged. These two deserve each other.

In case you want to read more, go here:

Monday, October 19, 2009

This is why the University of Michigan is superior to UF

I say this because my partner at work (and University of Michigan alumni) just explained to me the concept of the two point conversion. Aha. So that's what everyone means when they talk about "going for two." Got it.

And hence...why she went to the University of Michigan. And I did not.

It's the sport of kings...

better than diamond

Anyone else remember that little ditty from the movie "Wildcats?" Just me? Okay.

So I've been watching football for years. Growing up in Florida..that's what you do. And I went to a big football school....okay, this is an understatement. I went to the currently undefeated, National Championship-winning University of Florida. So obviously, I must know everything there is to know about football. Right? Right?

I will go on the record here and now and say there are a lot of things I don't understand about it. Does this make me sound like an idiot? Possibly. But there are things I just don't get...

1. What are "special teams?" No one has ever given me a straight answer on this.

2. What constitutes "excessive celebrating?" Is it jumping up and down? A fist pump to the air? Chest bumping teammates? I don't get it. Who gets to decide? And also, who cares?

3. What's up with the flags? I never seem to see them when they get thrown. And why do they get thrown? For stuff like "holding?" Isn't it necessary to hold the football in order to make a goal?

4. Why is it impossible to tell if the kicker makes the extra point? Unless it runs right down the middle, who can tell?

5. First down? Third down? Husband has explained this to me but I still don't actually know what this is.

6. How do you know if your team is a running team or a throwing team? And also, why is this important?

My dear college roommate used to try to help me, sitting next to me at Gator games and saying "clap now" but it didn't really help. I can still generally tell who wins the game. Touchdowns are also exceedingly clear. Extra points, not always.

Yes, I want the Gators to win. And the Hurricanes to lose. I even want the Dolphins to win...even if they never do. But the details? Still a bit of a mystery.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

And the new Bachelor is.....


Well, yeah. We thought so. But ABC wanted to make it all official.

Get ready for the parade of pleated khakis...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

More Tales of the Critter Magnet

As I've blogged before, critters seem to be drawn to me. When I lived in Florida, it was frogs and lizards. In my city life, it's been (shudder) rodents. I hesitate to even write the word since when I do, they seem to take it as an open invitation.

Now, I should tell you that we live on the 4th floor of a brownstone. So you'd think that the critters wouldn't want to travel that far. Seems as though they don't mind.

The other night, we're in bed and I turn off the light to go to sleep. Then I hear an odd zapping noise, like an electrical current. I turn the light back on again and a huge insect with brown wings is standing on my nightstand smiling at me. I shriek, wake the husband and point. He attempts to "get" it (sorry animal lovers) but wholeheartedly misses. This leads to us both jumping on the bed, scouring the room for the little bugger. And then we hear the familiar "zzz-zzz" that this insect makes. The husband stalks him and eventually moves in for the kill. I somewhat feel bad for destroying such a strange-looking creature. Husband looks at me strangely and goes to sleep.

But I can't. Since I know it's just a matter of time before we get another night time visitor. I am convinced that at some point, a bat is going to get in. It stands to reason since we live really close to the park. And the park is apparently crawling with them. Actually, I guess flying with them is more appropriate. I'm convinced they fly in through our chimney and hang out in the living room, playing with A's Legos. And while I think bats are kinda cool animals, I totally don't think I could handle it if one got in the house.

In the meantime, A. keeps insisting she is seeing mice all over the house. She even insists there is a mouse hole by the front door, throwing herself on the ground at least once a day to say "hello mouse!" Maybe she sees something I don't. Or perhaps she just enjoys torturing me. Or maybe, just maybe...she's a critter magnet too.

Friday, October 2, 2009

The New Bachelor is....

Jake. At least according to the Internet. And if you read it there, then you know it must be true.

Want more? Go here:

And in case you don't remember who Jake is..he's Mr. All-American Perfect Pilot with the pleated khakis. He might quite possibly iron his underwear. Have fun ladies....

And yes, I cannot wait.