It's the sport of kings...

better than diamond rings....football.

Anyone else remember that little ditty from the movie "Wildcats?" Just me? Okay.

So I've been watching football for years. Growing up in Florida..that's what you do. And I went to a big football school....okay, this is an understatement. I went to the currently undefeated, National Championship-winning University of Florida. So obviously, I must know everything there is to know about football. Right? Right?

I will go on the record here and now and say there are a lot of things I don't understand about it. Does this make me sound like an idiot? Possibly. But there are things I just don't get...

1. What are "special teams?" No one has ever given me a straight answer on this.

2. What constitutes "excessive celebrating?" Is it jumping up and down? A fist pump to the air? Chest bumping teammates? I don't get it. Who gets to decide? And also, who cares?

3. What's up with the flags? I never seem to see them when they get thrown. And why do they get thrown? For stuff like "holding?" Isn't it necessary to hold the football in order to make a goal?

4. Why is it impossible to tell if the kicker makes the extra point? Unless it runs right down the middle, who can tell?

5. First down? Third down? Husband has explained this to me but I still don't actually know what this is.

6. How do you know if your team is a running team or a throwing team? And also, why is this important?

My dear college roommate used to try to help me, sitting next to me at Gator games and saying "clap now" but it didn't really help. I can still generally tell who wins the game. Touchdowns are also exceedingly clear. Extra points, not always.

Yes, I want the Gators to win. And the Hurricanes to lose. I even want the Dolphins to win...even if they never do. But the details? Still a bit of a mystery.