Friday, September 26, 2008

Crass, inappropriate...and hilarious

Got grandparents in Florida? Then this video is for you. As Elizabeth has pointed out, it also works for any other grandparents in red states. See this link below:

Keep in mind it's Sarah Silverman so...if you're easily offended, you might want to skip it.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Bachelorette Jen news!

Looks like she finally met her match. See here:,,20228668,00.html

And to think, ML and I were just talking about her yesterday...saying she seemed like a committment-phobe.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Is it wrong to hate a child?

That's the question I have to ask myself everytime I go to the playground.

Yes, I know this is an incredibly un-PC rant but spend as much time as I do on the playground and you'll inevitably feel the same way. Particularly if you actually have a child and the Mama (or Papa) Bear blood gets boiling.

Here's the thing. I used to think I loved children. Or at least liked them. Not so. At least, not any that are intentionally rude or want to cause physical harm to my child.

It's got to be biological. That's what makes me react this way. It could be over something small, like my daughter saying hello aand being ignored. Or it could be as much as a kid pushing/shoving/punching. Recently, a cherubic-looking blonde girl tried to push A off a slide. It took every ounce of my being not to grab her by the collar myself. Instead, I said "you shouldn't push" and "where's your mommy/daddy/babysitter?" The girl pointed to A and said "she was in the way." Things are black and white like that when you're say, 4 years old.

I'm not saying A is perfect. Her favorite word is "mine-a!" I suppose the extra "a" is for emphasis. Sometimes, a child will try to take the slide next to the one she's perched up on and this really ticks her off. I tell her "it's everybody's slide" and I think it's slowly sinking in. Even though we sometimes have to do a countdown when she's on the neh-neh (the horse) so someone else can get a turn.

But I have to say this....I do not think she is truly mean-spirited . I have seen her share her sidewalk chalk at least twice. This weekend, she actually ran to get another little girl a balloon (mostly so the girl would stop trying to take hers but still).

I have never had to restrain her from pushing or punching another kid. As it turns out, the person I most need to restrain is me.

Maybe she can teach me a thing or two.

A little bit of Bachelorette news...

Go here...

It basically says that Deanna and Jesse are "scaling down" their wedding. Hmmm. Trouble on the horizon? One of the most hilarious stories I read recently mentions that Andy Baldwin, the Officer and a Gentleman Bachelor is an ordained minister and will be performing the ceremony. Ha! You can't make this stuff up.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Go away, bad ad! Shoo!

I am horrified to see that since I used Palin's name a bunch of times in my last has decided I must really like her and are now featuring an ad for the old guy and the pitbull in lipstick. In order for this to go away, I must do the following:

Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
bama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
bama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
bama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama

In the meantime, check out this link to see the way the old guy candidate is getting covered in the press:


obama obama obama obama obama obama obama

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Stop waiting for the world to change.

You know that song by John Mayer? The one you can’t help humming despite the fact that John Mayer is a tool?. “Waiting for the World to Change.” Well, I’m not buying it. If you want the world to change, you can’t wait for it. But what’s scaring me lately is….I’m not sure the world is going to change at all. Not for the better, anyway.

By that I mean…I’m not so sure Obama is going to get elected this November. There, I said it. I somehow thought if I never mentioned it, never thought it, never wrote it down on paper that it wouldn’t be so. But right now, it’s not looking good.

It was easy for me to be deceived. I live in a neighborhood where kids have lemonade stands to raise money for Obama. Where moms at the playground wear shirts that say “Obama Mama.” Where every other brownstone has a sign up that says “Change.” How foolish of me to assume that friends in other places felt the same way.

I know that I cannot single-handedly change the minds of everyone who thinks John McCain/Sarah Palin would make great leaders of this country. I’m just writing this to try to present some food for thought…some information that may not have been considered. And I’m starting with Sarah Palin. Why Palin and not McCain? Well, he’s a topic for a different blog. He certainly deserves his own. I’m starting with Sarah since by choosing her, I feel that McCain made a real statement about what kind of president he’d be. One that would rather “be a maverick” by choosing someone controversial and unqualified than someone who actually deserves to be a heartbeat away from the president. And since McCain is 72 and let’s face it, not looking like the picture of health….I take his vice-presidential pick very seriously.

Sarah Palin. Ah yes. Where do we begin? I’m not here to bash her pregnant daughter or her hair or her clothes or her general snarkiness. I could…but it would be too easy. Plus it would dilute the real problems I have with her…all of which stem from her policies/beliefs.

1. Palin does not believe in abortion, even in cases of rape, incest or severe birth defects. The very notion that the government should have a say in what women do with their own bodies is appalling to me. Right now, NARAL Pro-Choice America reports that donation and volunteers have been up since Palin’s nomination and are calling the GOP platform “the most anti-choice ever put forward.” Change? Oh yes, it’s change all right…a giant step backward.

2. Palin does no believe that global warming is “man-made.” She also favors drilling which will release more carbon into the atmosphere. She asked church workers in Alaska to pray for a $30 billion pipeline in the state because “God’s will has to get done.”

3. And speaking of church, Palin’s place of worship featured the Jews for Jesus founder David Brickner who described terrorist attacks on Israelis as G-d’s “judgement of unbelief” of Jews who haven’t embraced Christianity. Not that Obama’s church was much better but…he doesn’t go there anymore. Can we say the same of Palin? Her current church is promoting a conference that promises to convert gays to heterosexuals through the power of prayer.

4. Palin opposes explicit sex education. Somewhat ironic considering her current family situation…ooops, I said I wouldn’t mention her daughter.

5. Palin believes in teaching creationism in school.

6. Palin first got a passport in 2007. Which doesn’t exactly show a lot of curiousity about the outside world, now does it?

7. The Bridge to Nowhere. You all know about this, I assume. She was originally in favor of building a 398 million dollar bridge to an island with 50 people on it. Until she realized it was unpopular. And then all of a sudden, she wasn’t in favor of it anymore.

8. Palin wanted a local librarian to ban certain books. When the librarian refused, she was fired. Under pressure, she later re-hired her.

9. Her tenure was rife with controversy, including Dairy Gate, where she fired the entire Alskan Agricultural Commission board and filled it with her buddies as well as TrooperGate, where she fired a public safety officer who refused to fire her brother-in-law.

10. Palin attended the convention of the Alaskan Independence Party, which supports Alaska seceding from the US. Her husband was a member of that party from 1995-2002.

I could go on. But I won’t. I can’t. I’m eating lunch and I might be ill. Please consider all the facts before you vote. Because if you vote for McCain, Palin could be your president. Our president.


Thursday, September 4, 2008

Lessons Learned from a kiddie bday party

So we had a party in the park for A's second bday. Fun for the kids, not so much for the grown-ups schlepping everything.

This party was mostly for a bunch of kids I've never met before. This is A's weekday circle of friends, ie all the nannies and their charges. I was most interested to meet everyone, since A's been talking about them non-stop. Pleased to report I liked them all. Some a little more, some a little less but no one truly awful. Which is saying something, since I usually meet at least one kid in the park every weekend that annoys me to no end and makes me grateful for A.

In the meantime, A's friends taught me a thing or two. I'm sure they didn't mean to. But if you pay attention closely enough, their behavior is useful in reminding you of a few valuable lessons.

1. PERSISTANCE PAYS OFF. Just ask R. He hounded me about the goodie bags. Relentless. This kid (age 4) presented various arguments as to why this was the opportune moment to pass out the bags. Eventually, his whining wore me down and I passed them out 20 minutes early. Future lawyer, I tell you.

2. DRESSES ROCK. Now I understand why A. insists upon wearing a dress almost every day. All her buddies do. Well, not the boys. And these girls still run around like crazy people. I thought it would hamper A.'s fun and movement. Ba. No chance. Girls want to wear dresses but that doesn't mean they want to act like little ladies.

3. NOBODY LIKES A TATTLE TALE. There's one in every bunch. This one was a boy named G. Always quick to report when someone did something wrong. The other kids were clearly rolling their eyes. Future Kenneth Star.

4. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY CUPCAKES. Particularly if they come with colored frosting.

5. MUSIC MAKES THE PARTY. Even if you happen to be 2. And most of your favorite songs come from the Music Together Flutes Album.

6. THERE ARE LOTS OF GREAT TOYS IN THE WORLD BUT NOTHING BEATS A BALL. Seriously. That's all they needed to have fun. Mind you, the ball was 48 inches and they kept attacking it. But still. Super fun.

7. ALL THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE REQUIRE GETTING A LITTLE DIRTY FOR. Think about it. It applies to soooo many things.

8. FRIENDS MAKE THE PARTY. THAT...AND PIZZA. It's all about the pizza, folks. Until she's a grown-up and it's all about the wine.

I feel so much smarter after this party. Older and more exhausted. But smarter.