It's a big news week....

particularly in Bachelor Land.

Sorry, but I just can't write any blogs about the economy....too depressing. So here is your mindless fluff for the day. Think of it as your four 'o clock piece of candy:

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/carrie-underwood-steps-out-with-bachelor-travis-stork/14820?nc

Enjoy.

"Nope."

This is what A. had to say when I tried to get her in her Halloween costume to go the Botanical Gardens festival this weekend.

Mind you, it was last year's costume since this year's hadn't arrived yet. But still. I thought she'd jump at the chance to wear animal ears.

So it was with great anticipation that we presented her with her newly arrived costume yesterday. It's a girl vampire costume, inspired by her great love for the Count on Sesame STreet (and our current obsession with True Blood).

"Isn't it great? It's got a velvet collar. And it's a dress...."

To which she replied, "Nope."

Damn! Have I really underestimated the personality of a two-year-old? I assumed I had one more year to put her into a costume that I like before she demanded to become a princess.

And then she truly squashed all my hopes and dreams by uttering one word "tutu." As in the pink fluffy thing my aunt's friend bought her that she wears from time to time.

"Wouldn't you rather be The Count's Sister?"

"Nope."

Stay tuned.

Pimping out their unborn child....

hey, why not? Scott Baio did it....

the Sutters are up to it again:

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20235933,00.html

The British Bachelor finds a soulmate who doesn't look like a porn star...

which is a start, anyway.

I always liked Matt. Who can resist a tall boy with a British accent?


http://tvwatch.people.com/2008/10/23/bachelor-star-matt-grant-finds-love-again/

Why there are no pictures on my blog....

quite simply....because it's my world. And I don't want them.

You see, I write ads all day. And let's face it, even if you write a rocking headline, it's really all about the picture. That's what grabs 'em first. If something's pretty with a sucky headline, they'll look at it. Just the law of the land.

So in my world (the land of nanifesto)...it's all about the words, baby. Sorry.

Plus I'm also too lazy (and technologically challenged) to bother adding visual stimulation. You'll just have to make do with my opinions.

Luckily, I've got a lot of them.

Just think of it as a book. One without an actual plot. And one that's free.

I promise to write something halfway humorous tomorrow.

Have a good night.

I was really going to try not to be superficial...

but why start now?

I'm talking, of course, about the debate last night. Clearly, if you've been reading my blog, you know exactly where I stand politically. So I won't bore you with all the reasons why I thought Obama won last night. I'm here to talk about much more important matters; who actually looked the part of president last night?

Was it the guy in the dark pinstriped suit which made him look even paler than he was, his white hair and skin the exact same color? In a word, no. If your wife is as rich as McCain's is, there is no excuse for not having the perfect suit that's going to read well on television. I'm not saying it wasn't expensive or well-tailored. I'm saying, those pinstripes seemed to vibrate. And it was too dark for him. And playing off the yellow teeth....shudder. (Dude, Crest Whitestrips work wonders....and no, they don't pay me to say that).

I know this is not a beauty contest—though someone might want to remind Sarah Palin that. But if you don't think in the era of television, these sorts of things matter....might I remind you of Nixon/Kennedy debate? Not that I was there, but apparently Nixon sweated up a storm. But apparently, it made a difference.

What makes someone look presidential? Posture does wonders. Obama sat straight, spine erect, the entire time. He never appeared to fidget nor did he make annoying little guffaws the way McCain did. And you know what? It was incredibly effective.

So. Turns out your mom was right. Sit up straight. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt when someone is talking.

And most importantly....brush your teeth.

A little bit of random Bachelorette news...

Trista and Ryan are expecting again.

Check it out:

http://perezhilton.com/2008-10-14-another-bachelorette-baby


Meaning you can expect to read about every excruciating detail in US Weekly soon. Trista likes to share.


Have a nice day.

N

Oh Pollyanna, where are you?

I've never been one of those people who walks around telling people to "smile." I always felt that was disingenuous....if you're felling crappy, why fake it?

And it's been pretty crappy lately.It's been rather hard to turn on the news. Everyone's fighting about politics (myself included...it's hard not to), the economy's tanking, the world outlook, well....why am I writing this since everyone knows it?

There's a lot of fear out there right now. And fear is exactly what's causing the economy to tank (well, that and lots of other things/mistakes but that is an over- simplified explanation). So right now...perhaps what everyone needs is a good old-fashioned dose of faking it.

How does one do that when there's not a lot to smile about? Sugar helps. So does sunshine-y, breezy October days. Dancing like an idiot. Singing off-tune at the top of your lungs. Tina Fey is a brilliant antidote. So is Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. When in doubt, play peek-a-boo with a baby. Or try my favorite thing to do, stare at people in a crowd and try to picture what they looked like when they were, say, six months old.

If asked A what to do, she'd say "tolor" (color).

So tonight, eat some ice cream. You deserve it. And if you want to be a super-bad-ass, cover it with hot fudge.

There now. At least I didn't tell you to "smile."

We've got press!

Admittedly, it must have been a slow news week in Brooklyn. Still, we'll take press where we can get it. See this link for the article on our Barack Bake Sale:

http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/31/40/31_40_cl_bake_sale.html?comm=1#feedback

Brooklyn loves Barack....

and baked goods, apparently. Our Barack Bake Sale was a huge hit! Not only did we raise a pretty substantial amount of money ($585) but we met a lot of interesting people, too.

My friend Karen already blogged about it (with pictures..if you're interested, go to brooklynsbackyard.blogspot.com) but I need to say a few words about some intriguing characters we met along the way. Starting with the assortment of folks we met while putting up the fliers. One was an angry woman, who felt the need to scold Karen several times for posting things illegally. Another was a confused guy who saw thought Barack might be in attendance. While our baked good were really delicious...and we were all gung-ho Barack, not sure he really has the time to make a campaign appearance in the quite possibly the most liberal neighborhood in the world. Another was a dog walker, who perhaps spends most of his time talking to animals and therefore, really wanted to hang with us.

The bakesale started with a woman camped out on my stoop after seeing one of the fliers. Quickly, we got it all together.

Here were some of our customers:

A guy named Adam, who seemed to think we might be working for the campaign and quite possibly, wanted to spend more quality time with Karen. A girl who had no cash on her and ran to get her checkbook to buy some cookies. The woman in the car who purchased lemon bars and drove back around to tell us how amazing they were. The wheat-free girl who was thrilled to see No More Condolezza Rice Crispy Bars were on the menu. The dad with twin boys who spent 30 bucks on baked goods and walked away with Amanda's All-American Patriot Apple Pie, looking like he'd just won lotto. The cute sixth grade teacher who if he's single, should let us know, we have a potential prospect for him. The local newspaper guy who took like 50 pictures of our bake sale so perhaps we'll get our 15 minutes of fame, though I am personally hoping this won't count for mine.

Understandably, lots of people wanted to talk politics. The opinions varied, including a Republican who thanked us "for not screaming at him" and bought some cookies. Hey, if we can't convert you, we'll be happy to take your Republican money and hand it over to Obama, thank you very much. Only one woman truly predicted a gloomy election day ahead, due to " people in the South who are prejudiced" but we assured her we knew of lots of people in the South who were voting Obama. I think she was perhaps a bit prejudiced against Southerners herself. We told her we had high hopes, particularly because people in Florida (our people, anyway) were leaning towards Obama these days. In any case, she left smiling.

Everyone wanted to do their part and we made it easy for them....they only had to buy baked goods. Which let's face it, we all want to do anyway. Thanks so much to everyone who helped out and especially all the bakers....Karen and I didn't do it all ourselves...Denise, Laine, Amanda and my friend M all contributed. So did Jim, my neighbor who lent us his table. Everyone left with fuller tummies, slightly less full wallets and happy hearts.

I promise to be back to my old cynical self in no time.

At least you have your health...

you get the feeling that's what a lot of people have been saying lately, given the state of the world. Unless of course, you don't.

Don't get me wrong. Thankfully, we three are a mostly healthy bunch...I mean if you look at things big picture. In the small picture, we are a mess. A caught her first stomach flu of the season, gave it to husband who also needed a root canal the same week. I acted as the smug nurse, patting myself on the back for my superior immune system. Not so fast. I wound up in the emergency room yesterday, victim to perhaps one of the world's smallest (yet still painful) kidney stones.

Sigh.

In case you're wondering if our health care system needs to be revamped, might I suggest spending 7 hours in the ER? It's joyful. Lots of waiting, very little eye contact. And if you are the one wearing the hospital gown, you may as well be invisible. It's like they think that once you become the patient, your brain cannot handle the difficult stuff, such as answers to questions like, "when will my test results come back?"

I will say, I felt very grateful not to be in the state of some of my neighbors (you can hear everything, I honestly wasn't eavesdropping). One man moaned over a appendix, another had a blood clot in her leg. In the scheme of things, I was, deservedly, low man on the totem pole. But it wasn't like these people were getting any more attention than me. It was only when I put on my street clothes and threatened to walk out did I finally get some notice.

Anyway...we will be listening extra closely during the debates tonight when talk turns to healthcare. If it ever moves beyond words like "mainstreet"..."moose"..."lipstick"..you know, those conversations that ultimately, do nothing to help the American people.

In the meantime....Husband is feeling better (though the temporary filling from his tooth fell out last night while eating cheese)...I seem to be okay though drinking a ton of water and A is clearly fine as she informed us last night "no toast. ice cream." She also wanted chicken with something she called "heiney my shirt" which turned out to be honey mustard. More on how to speak A later.

Enjoy the game, oops, I mean debate, tonight.