So I have a critter connection. It's not like I talk to the animals or anything. It's just that for some reason, animals always find me whether I want them to or not.
When I lived in Florida, my dad always joked that all the animals and reptiles would show up to welcome me home. There was the time I was lying on the carpet in my room and a frog jumped up next to me. I also once stepped on a frog on my way to the bus stop, causing my grandmother to purchase a small flashlight the family called "the frog light" to prevent other such mishaps. I won't even talk about how many flying bugs have appeared in my bedroom or the lizard that lived in my shower.
This trend continued once I moved to New York. Seemed impossible that wildlife could find me in the city but it happened. My first year was plagued by mice infestation, topped off my accidental execution of a mouse in a toaster. Getting a cat seemed to solve this problem for a while though there was one time when a grasshopper invaded my apartment in Chelsea. The cat did all he could to get it but it only set off more chirps than anyone should ever have to hear in her lifetime. And I won't even talk about my recent mouse infestation for fear they might hear me and come back. They're probably reading my blog right now and laughing.
Of course, living so close to Prospect Park, I've seen my fair share of critters. Prospect Park has bats and I've seen t but thus far, they have not truly come looking for me. The birds, however, can get a bit nervy. Yesterday, as I pushed A on the swings she kept pointing and saying "birds." I was like "yes, lots of birds" and kept pushing. But she seemed rather insistent and then said "seat!" I looked over at her stroller and four or five little birds had invaded and were munching out on whatever wayward crumbs she had left in there. I tried to shoo them away and they persisted. They were like, duuuude. We're having brunch.
It gets better. After some hearty playtime, A. and I sit down on the bench for a snack. A bee comes up behind her. I try to stay calm but naturally I don't. I decide to move her away from the bee. The bee follows. I walk her across the park to another bench and I swear, that @#$%! bee is right behind me. And I then I realize the bee wants her granola bar. I throw the bar on the ground. The bee is like, cool and leaves us alone.
I'm telling you, I am never going to the jungle. Ever. The lions will sniff us out in half a second.
I swear I hear a mouse chuckling.