Tuesday, August 5, 2008

I know I have no right to blog about my high school reunion....

since I didn't go. But still. I've got something to say.

I've seen all the pictures. Some are good, some are bad, some are frightening. Some make me wish I went, others...not so much. In any case, I'm glad for facebook because as it turns out, it's like attending a reunion every day of your life. Plus it has all the pictures from the reunion which is all you really need anyway.

And so...based solely on the pictures and reports from several undisclosed sources, here are a few lessons learned from CCHS Class of '88 Reunion. Don't worry, no names or anything.

1. Do not go to reunion red as a lobster. This is not a good look. It was not a good look for Prom. And 20 years later, it only serves to make you look older than you are. And very, very shiny.

2. Just because you have breasts does not mean the rest of the world needs to see them. I'm not saying this as a prude. I'm saying. It's been 20 years. Even with the best of bras...and there are good ones out there....time takes its toll. Put those puppies away. They've had plenty of years to play in the sun.

3. If you really do have a government job that is TOP SECRET and HIGHLY CLASSIFIED, don't tell everyone about it. I'm sure that defeats the purpose. Come up with a really impressive lie. Our government is good at that, they can probably help you out in that area.

4. Steroids. Wasn't a great look in high school. An even worse idea now. Plus try to buy a shirt in your size. Thank you.

5. If you must brag about how much money you make, attempt to be subtle about it. Like say, wear really nice shoes. Everyone will get the picture. Actual dollar amounts are just pathetic.

6. If you really hated everyone in high school, don't tell everyone about it. Just don't go to the reunion. Not that I'm including myself in this category...

7. Don't assume that everyone wants to hear your life story. They don't. Put it to you this way...do you want to hear theirs?

I'm sure I'll think of more. But this should be enough to make everyone from high school dislike me.

Have a good night.

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