I wish I had something funnier to post but I don't. Somehow the show seemed better on Monday.
Sorry this is late but it could not be helped. It will be the condensed version for sure. The show begins with Deanna pouting about having to let the booty call she was most looking forward to, Graham. But he was a "brat" so now everything was all up in the air. Meaning she will just have to make do and sleep with three other guys.
The first date is with Jeremy. She says "he's perfect" which she has said like a million other times which leads me to think it's more of an accusation at this point. She says he is "very serious and wants to see if he can have fun." Well. He can't. Not super lively but he is nice to look at. Deaanna gets pouty because Jeremy is holding back. In fact, he tells the camera he is not holding back but needs to have a talk with her.
In the meantime, they keep saying "don't you love the Bahamas? It's better in the Bahamas. Hey, can you believe we're in the Bahamas?" Yes, the tourism board surely got their money's worth.
Finally, at dinner Jeremy starts giggling and sweating and tells Deanna "I want to say I'm falling in love with you but...it's already happened." Deanna takes this opportunity to bust out the fantasy suite card. They run to the fantasy suite and get cozy on the bed. Well ABC. It's 8:09 and already one couple is getting busy in the boom-boom suite. In case you have any doubt what's happening, Jeremy gets up and pulls the shades. All righty then.
Next day, next booty call. Jason comes charging at Deanna like an overly-caffinated puppy. I've decided except for his exceptionally close-set eyes, he's cute. He's determined to show his fun side. The go to a floating dock for a picnic and talk about how they are willing to eat anything and aren't they soo adventurous? Then they go kayaking with Deanna bossing Jason around. Get used to it buddy, if you really are in for a lifetime of this.
Nighttime rolls around and Deanna puts on a dress that looks like a lovely green towel. Jason tells Deanna that she and Ty are his two favorite subjects. This prompts her to present him with the fantasy suite card. Jason doesn't even let her read it, tossing it to the side and doing his puppy run to the suite. He then presents her with a sand dollar necklace to remind them OF THEIR TIME TOGETHER IN THE BAHAMAS. Did you know they were in the Bahamas? He thanks her for teaching him he could fall in love again. And then...boom-chicka-wow-wow....
Next day, next dude. It's Jesse time. Do you ever feel like Jesse's still in high school? He's like "you look so hot, dude." And "this is rad." I suppose some people might find it endearing but I do not. They go horseback riding into the ocean, which is something I have not seen before. Then at dinner, Jesse asks her a lot of questions. He even tells her he wants to have kids before he is 30 which I do not believe at all. He wants this "so he can throw a football with his kid" which as we all know a 40-year-old dad can simply not do. She asks him about his plans after snowboarding. He says he'd like to be a sports agent "because that would be fun." And not in the least bit competitive and just perfect for a really laid-back, chilled-out dude. Hey Jesse. Ever see "Jerry Maguire?"
Anyway, Deanna busts out the fantasy suite card. What the hell. May as well go three for three. Jesse acts like he is not going to accept it then PSYCH! He does. Ha ha. He's such a kidder, that Jesse.
And then before you know it, it's rose ceremony time. Jeremy gets the boot, is the long and short of it. And that's it for now because I need to change locations. More to come!