Please stand clear of the huge stomach that's about to hit you in the face

Seriously, I was hoping I wasn't going to have to write this. Really, I was.

I am always the first to defend New Yorkers and their manners. All kinds of random acts of kindness have befallen me through the years. And some random acts of not-much-kindness but still. The good clearly outweighs the bad.

And then I got pregnant.

Now, this is obviously not my first time as a pregnant mama in NYC. I made it through 8 months of subway commutes last go around, made even worse by a super hot summer and extremely puffy feet. And while I didn't get a seat every time, I did get a lot of offers. Yes, we could talk about who usually offered the seats (generally youngish African American men or Latino men) or what lines were better for getting seats (the F is very mama friendly, the 6 forget about it)...but the point is, I got offers.

This time, I've been offered a seat exactly twice. I might add that I ride the subway at least twice a day during the week, usually more.

There is the old avert-the-eyes trick. This is particularly lame when my stomach is practically smacking you in the face. There is the I've-seen-you-and-now-I-am-suddenly asleep. Oh yes, you clearly deserve an Oscar. The worst is, I've-seen-you-and-it-is-your-fault-for-getting-pregnant look. This usually comes from some 20-something woman who cannot fathom letting themselves get fat enough to get preg. Sort of a you-brought-it-on-yourself-now-deal look.

Now. I am not an invalid. There are clearly people who deserve a seat more than me. But. My back really really hurts. Sometimes I feel a bit queasy. Sometimes, weird pains hit me at odd times, like the little homie inside is trying to make a break for it. A seat would be awfully, awfully nice.

So all I have to say to those of you pretending not to see or pretending to sleep or judging my condition, karma is a bitch, man. One day you will be pregnant or someone you love might be. And I'm telling you, what comes around, goes around.

Come on, New Yorkers, I'm rooting for you. Don't let me down. Help a sister out, why don't you. I don't want to have to take back all the nice things I've said about you.