Another two hour show, starts at 8 eastern time. I don't know about you guys, but I'm not sure I really need two hours of this...my guess is ABC is looking for cheap programming and what's cheaper than reality television? You've just gotta pay for a bunch of roses and rent out a mansion (and there should be plenty of empty ones these days).
Anyhow, enjoy the show...
N
Monday, January 26, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
"I like bears."
This might seem like a simple, mundane statement but….if you saw last night’s show, you’d know that it sums up Nathalie’s personality. When Jason asked her about herself she said, “I like bears.” There was a pause, as Jason waited for something more. A punchline, anything. Finally, Jason said “koalas?” And Natalie says “all kinds!” Wow. I mean, wow.
So I’ve come to the conclusion that my daughter hates The Bachelor. Why else would choose this night of all nights to give us a hard time about sleeping? There are certain bits I missed so again, feel free to chime in.
The show starts with Stephanie getting a one-on-one date with Jason. Stephanie is the single mom whose husband died and has been consoling herself with Botox. Now, Jason seems to have a lot of respect for Stephanie….I think. Either that or he just feels sorry for her. Either way, he surprises her by bringing her daughter Sophia to come along on the date. Which is fine except the date is now really between Stephanie and Sophia. They snuggle, they laugh, they ride the rides at LegoLand. And Jason kind of watches. Meanwhile, poor Stephanie thinks this is a chance for Sophia to have a daddy. She says “this is a possible opportunity for a male role model.” She even says “Jason reminds me of my deceased husband.” Creepy! Okay, she may think she’s over this tragedy…but she’s not. Not really. Jason says “it would be amazing to be with someone like Stephanie for the rest of my life.” Note he did not say Stephanie herself.
Okay. Onto the next date. Jason is taking 8 girls out a date to “get busted.” What does this mean? They will all make a cast of their busts, paint it and auction it off to charity for a breast cancer awareness organization. How clever ABC! Now we all get to see who has big boobs and who doesn’t. And for charity, no less. Jason goes first so he can peel off his shirt again. Erica and Melissa vigorously rub him down with baby oil. Stalker Shannon says “I like to stare at him…..they didn’t get enough oil on him.” ABC even shows us cheesy silhouettes of the girls getting changed. Jillian says “I’m very comfortable being naked.” Of course she is; she has no boobs. The girls with big ones didn’t look as pleased to be getting half naked. Stalker Shannon asks Jason to put plaster on her body so they could share “an intimate moment.”
And then it’s time to paint their busts. Some girls paint them with hearts and flowers but Megan decides she’s going to paint a fetus. Because fetuses are so pretty. She then asks the dumbest question of the night…and that’s saying something….when she asks someone at the charity if someone who has had a mastectomy can breastfeed. Ummm….no. How would that work exactly? Megan then says she’s very deep and everyone else there is as shallow as a kiddie pool. Melissa tells Jason she had a breast reduction at age 17, which seemed to shock him. We also find out Melissa is Greek “I got my Yaya’s boobs” which should definitely help her chances with Jay-Jay since it will remind him of his dear Deanna. Poor Nikki with the sideburns runs out of things to talk about with the J-Man, which sucks this early in the game. Anyway, there is one rose to be given away on this date and Jillian gets it. The Canadian Hot Dog Lady wins again…
So then a date card comes to the house for Nathalie. Jason says “she is hot and fun but I want to find out who she is inside.” Really? She’s hot? Bad spray-tans and fake blonde extensions are hot? Jay-jay comes to pick her up at the house and she is late coming downstairs. Always a bad idea when there are other women there to keep him entertained. When she finally comes downstairs, she is greeted by a man with a suitcase. The suitcase holds a million dollars worth of diamonds. Nathalie’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. This is definitely a girl who likes her bling.
Jay-jay takes her on a private jet and then a helicopter over Vegas. Nathalie can scarcely contain her excitement. You can tell she thinks she is J Lo or something. She keeps tossing her overly processed locks like she is Queen of the Prom. She says to Jason “look at the reflection of my diamonds in the window.” Jason says “I felt like James Bond, walking into the place with the girl everyone was looking at.” Really? Because high-def television was really not doing her any favors.
And then Jason makes his fatal mistake. He decides he wants to “dig beneath the surface” of Nathalie. Problem is, that’s all there is. Jason says “you’re the cute, sporty girl who loves clothes…what else?” And she says, “I love bears.” And Jason says to the camera, “I wish our conversations were better.”
Despite, Nathalie trying to convince Jason that is not just a party girl and really was put on this earth to be a mother, Jason isn’t buying it. He picks up the rose but doesn’t give it to her. This is also around the time when A. decided she didn’t want to go to sleep and I had to go in and rub her back so excuse me if I miss any important details. Jason tells Nathalie that the moment she saw the diamonds was the happiest he saw her all night. Nathalie gets annoyed and tells him that are other girls in the house who are just wrong for him. Jason seems curious but lets Nathalie go anyway. Minus the diamonds, of course.
This gets Jason wondering who “the bad girls” in the house are. Lauren tells it like it is and mentions Erica and Megan. Megan hears this and gets all in a huff. There is some trash-talking which Erica and Megan are really good at because they are, well, trash. At the rose ceremony, Chris Harrison encourages the girls to be up front about this fighting. Lauren and Megan say nasty things about each other. This upsets Shannon the Stalker, who runs in the bathroom to puke. I’m hoping she is not going to try to kiss Jason with that mouth since you know girlfriend doesn’t have a toothbrush handy. Okay. Here’s how the rose ceremony pans out. Remember, Stephanie and Jillian are safe:
Rose #1 Molly
Rose #2 Lauren
Rose #3 Melissa
Rose #4 Naomi…forget she existed this week.
Rose #5 Shannon with the puke-breath
Rose #6 Nikki and her crazy boobs
Rose #7 Megan…really? Still? The producers must have forced him to keep her.
Who’s out? Kari, who you kinda forgot existed and Erica, who you wish you could forget existed. She’s like that obnoxious girl in school who was always really loud and somewhere along the way, someone thought that meant she was funny. No. Just annoying. The girl makes the ugliest faces, too. She says “I’m a real girl who likes to get down and dirty and rough and have fun.” Great. I’m sure there are plenty of bars where you can do that. We just don’t have to watch it anymore.
Next week, Molly winds up camping out with Jay-jay and coming home in his clothes. Doing the walk of shame on television….nice. And we see great drama in the final rose ceremony when…gasp….Jason refuses to give out the final rose. The drama!!!
Enjoy the rest of the week,
Nan
So I’ve come to the conclusion that my daughter hates The Bachelor. Why else would choose this night of all nights to give us a hard time about sleeping? There are certain bits I missed so again, feel free to chime in.
The show starts with Stephanie getting a one-on-one date with Jason. Stephanie is the single mom whose husband died and has been consoling herself with Botox. Now, Jason seems to have a lot of respect for Stephanie….I think. Either that or he just feels sorry for her. Either way, he surprises her by bringing her daughter Sophia to come along on the date. Which is fine except the date is now really between Stephanie and Sophia. They snuggle, they laugh, they ride the rides at LegoLand. And Jason kind of watches. Meanwhile, poor Stephanie thinks this is a chance for Sophia to have a daddy. She says “this is a possible opportunity for a male role model.” She even says “Jason reminds me of my deceased husband.” Creepy! Okay, she may think she’s over this tragedy…but she’s not. Not really. Jason says “it would be amazing to be with someone like Stephanie for the rest of my life.” Note he did not say Stephanie herself.
Okay. Onto the next date. Jason is taking 8 girls out a date to “get busted.” What does this mean? They will all make a cast of their busts, paint it and auction it off to charity for a breast cancer awareness organization. How clever ABC! Now we all get to see who has big boobs and who doesn’t. And for charity, no less. Jason goes first so he can peel off his shirt again. Erica and Melissa vigorously rub him down with baby oil. Stalker Shannon says “I like to stare at him…..they didn’t get enough oil on him.” ABC even shows us cheesy silhouettes of the girls getting changed. Jillian says “I’m very comfortable being naked.” Of course she is; she has no boobs. The girls with big ones didn’t look as pleased to be getting half naked. Stalker Shannon asks Jason to put plaster on her body so they could share “an intimate moment.”
And then it’s time to paint their busts. Some girls paint them with hearts and flowers but Megan decides she’s going to paint a fetus. Because fetuses are so pretty. She then asks the dumbest question of the night…and that’s saying something….when she asks someone at the charity if someone who has had a mastectomy can breastfeed. Ummm….no. How would that work exactly? Megan then says she’s very deep and everyone else there is as shallow as a kiddie pool. Melissa tells Jason she had a breast reduction at age 17, which seemed to shock him. We also find out Melissa is Greek “I got my Yaya’s boobs” which should definitely help her chances with Jay-Jay since it will remind him of his dear Deanna. Poor Nikki with the sideburns runs out of things to talk about with the J-Man, which sucks this early in the game. Anyway, there is one rose to be given away on this date and Jillian gets it. The Canadian Hot Dog Lady wins again…
So then a date card comes to the house for Nathalie. Jason says “she is hot and fun but I want to find out who she is inside.” Really? She’s hot? Bad spray-tans and fake blonde extensions are hot? Jay-jay comes to pick her up at the house and she is late coming downstairs. Always a bad idea when there are other women there to keep him entertained. When she finally comes downstairs, she is greeted by a man with a suitcase. The suitcase holds a million dollars worth of diamonds. Nathalie’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. This is definitely a girl who likes her bling.
Jay-jay takes her on a private jet and then a helicopter over Vegas. Nathalie can scarcely contain her excitement. You can tell she thinks she is J Lo or something. She keeps tossing her overly processed locks like she is Queen of the Prom. She says to Jason “look at the reflection of my diamonds in the window.” Jason says “I felt like James Bond, walking into the place with the girl everyone was looking at.” Really? Because high-def television was really not doing her any favors.
And then Jason makes his fatal mistake. He decides he wants to “dig beneath the surface” of Nathalie. Problem is, that’s all there is. Jason says “you’re the cute, sporty girl who loves clothes…what else?” And she says, “I love bears.” And Jason says to the camera, “I wish our conversations were better.”
Despite, Nathalie trying to convince Jason that is not just a party girl and really was put on this earth to be a mother, Jason isn’t buying it. He picks up the rose but doesn’t give it to her. This is also around the time when A. decided she didn’t want to go to sleep and I had to go in and rub her back so excuse me if I miss any important details. Jason tells Nathalie that the moment she saw the diamonds was the happiest he saw her all night. Nathalie gets annoyed and tells him that are other girls in the house who are just wrong for him. Jason seems curious but lets Nathalie go anyway. Minus the diamonds, of course.
This gets Jason wondering who “the bad girls” in the house are. Lauren tells it like it is and mentions Erica and Megan. Megan hears this and gets all in a huff. There is some trash-talking which Erica and Megan are really good at because they are, well, trash. At the rose ceremony, Chris Harrison encourages the girls to be up front about this fighting. Lauren and Megan say nasty things about each other. This upsets Shannon the Stalker, who runs in the bathroom to puke. I’m hoping she is not going to try to kiss Jason with that mouth since you know girlfriend doesn’t have a toothbrush handy. Okay. Here’s how the rose ceremony pans out. Remember, Stephanie and Jillian are safe:
Rose #1 Molly
Rose #2 Lauren
Rose #3 Melissa
Rose #4 Naomi…forget she existed this week.
Rose #5 Shannon with the puke-breath
Rose #6 Nikki and her crazy boobs
Rose #7 Megan…really? Still? The producers must have forced him to keep her.
Who’s out? Kari, who you kinda forgot existed and Erica, who you wish you could forget existed. She’s like that obnoxious girl in school who was always really loud and somewhere along the way, someone thought that meant she was funny. No. Just annoying. The girl makes the ugliest faces, too. She says “I’m a real girl who likes to get down and dirty and rough and have fun.” Great. I’m sure there are plenty of bars where you can do that. We just don’t have to watch it anymore.
Next week, Molly winds up camping out with Jay-jay and coming home in his clothes. Doing the walk of shame on television….nice. And we see great drama in the final rose ceremony when…gasp….Jason refuses to give out the final rose. The drama!!!
Enjoy the rest of the week,
Nan
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The Bachelor Blog will be late today...
for obvious political reasons. Sorry, I can't concentrate on anything else. Maybe by the end of the day or tomorrow...
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Pink Ladies
Before A was born, I had very strong opinions about the color pink. I myself had never been a big fan. The light stuff seemed wimpy, the hot pink stuff a little trashy. We were not friends, pink and I.
And then I discovered we were having a girl. And I decided she would not have the same issues I did with pink because I would keep it out of her life. People were afraid to buy me pink stuff at my shower. We painted her room bright green. Our diaper bag was black.
And then I actually had our girl. And you know what? It was impossible not to have pink in our lives. Not because I loved it so much. But because that's all there was. Sure, there was some yellow and white thrown in there but not much. The only other choice were nauseating baby blue onesies with baseballs on them. It was pink or go naked. Pink it was.
And then she got older and there were more choices. But somehow, pink kept reappearing in her closet. For one, it actually looked nice on her fair skin. And for two...and most importantly...she likes it. She prefers it. Unreal, but true. She will fight the good fight every night to wear pink pajamas. And will add a pink tutu to every outfit.
So how did this happen? Am I disappointed? Not at all. She's opinionated. Like her mama. And if this is something she feels strongly about, then more power to her.
And then I discovered we were having a girl. And I decided she would not have the same issues I did with pink because I would keep it out of her life. People were afraid to buy me pink stuff at my shower. We painted her room bright green. Our diaper bag was black.
And then I actually had our girl. And you know what? It was impossible not to have pink in our lives. Not because I loved it so much. But because that's all there was. Sure, there was some yellow and white thrown in there but not much. The only other choice were nauseating baby blue onesies with baseballs on them. It was pink or go naked. Pink it was.
And then she got older and there were more choices. But somehow, pink kept reappearing in her closet. For one, it actually looked nice on her fair skin. And for two...and most importantly...she likes it. She prefers it. Unreal, but true. She will fight the good fight every night to wear pink pajamas. And will add a pink tutu to every outfit.
So how did this happen? Am I disappointed? Not at all. She's opinionated. Like her mama. And if this is something she feels strongly about, then more power to her.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Bachelor Round-Up #2..."It was like Slow motion when he took his shirt off..."
So. Two things. I will attempt to be amusing this Bachelor Round-Up but I’m a tad under the weather so keep your expectations low. Also…there was a battle of wills happening in our house last night as A. insisted she had to use the potty 15 times between 8 and 10pm. So…forgive me if I forget a detail or two….feel free to chime in if I leave out anything of importance.
The show started with more shots of Ty. I don’t know why this bugs me so much; we all know he has a kid, it just feels like Ty should have some say in whether or not he’s on tv. I’m sure when he’s like 12 he’ll be complaining to his shrink about it. Anyway, Ty is not staying around the Bachelor mansion to help Daddy pick up girls. No, Ty is headed back to Seattle to hang with his mysterious mother who broke Jay-Jay’s little heart.
Meanwhile, Chris the Dork Harrison introduces the ladies to their new mansion. He also explains that not everyone will go on a date with Jay-jay every week. This obviously sets the ladies off into a tizzy. So what did they do? Put on their bikinis and hop in the pool.
Ding-dong. Who’s there? Why, Jason of course. This sets the women into a further tizzy. Some of them are not wearing make-up or…gasp….wearing a ponytail! And the woman’s movement takes another mighty step back....
So ABC sees this as a great opportunity to force Jay-jay to give one woman a rose. Which means of course, they must all compete for his attention. Stalker Shannon is wearing a sequined bikini to hold up her fake boobs. A bold choice and not necessarily an attractive one. She attempts to attract his attention by throwing ice at him.
Then ABC makes a big ta-da moment out of Jason slowly taking off his shirt. They even do the slow-mo soft-porn camera. Full-on Velveeta moment. Botox Mom Stephanie sighs and says “he’s dreamy.”
And then Jillian the Hot Dog Lady is by his side, continuing to discuss the merits of different condiments. Still? We’re still talking about mustard here? Jason is disappointed to learn that Jillian originally thought he was a Ketchup Guy, which means Mama’s Boy. He assures her that he is most definitely a Mustard Dude. Of course he is. All Jewish guys eat mustard on their dogs. Duh.
In the meantime, Stalker Shannon smears Jay-jay with suntan lotion and calls touching Jason’s bare shoulders and chest “a gift.” Naomi the Eva Mendes Wannabe tries to impress Jason with all the charity work she’s done saving orphans. The most awkward moment of the night is when Stephanie attempts to politely interrupt Jason and Natalie. Poor thing makes him a drink…the kind you actually need to use a blender for….and stands there, holding it, waiting for him to invite to her speak. But he doesn’t. And Natalie doesn’t stop talking. So she just stands there like a waitress or something. Finally, she goes away. And drinks both drinks herself.
Finally, Jason gives the rose to Jillian the Hot Dog Lady, meaning she gets a special date with him that night. The girls are jealous until they realize Jillian will have to go out without having three hours to hot-roller her hair. Lauren says “Thank G-d it wasn’t me…I’d have to wear my hair in a ponytail!” G-d! Not a ponytail! The horror!
Jason is taking Jillian to Disney Hall which automatically impresses her because she is a fan of Frank Geary. I am just impressed she knows who he is. Jillian says “I didn’t think you’d be so cool…” In other words, she thought he’d be a big dork like the rest of America…or in her case, Canada. And then he says, “I’ve got another surprise for you…a surprise performance by Robin Thicke!” And she says “Get Oat!” or as we say here in the States, “Get out!” I kid. I actually think Canadian accents are quite charming. And Jillian is too and frankly much classier/brighter than most of the American girls on the show.
Now who is Robin Thicke you may ask? I did not know until last night because I apparently live under a rock. It seems as though he is the child of Alan Thicke of Family Matters, in case you care. He is also apparently been deemed “the most soulful white guy on the planet.” I suppose that’s a good thing. Though I do have to wonder if his career is going so well if this is his big gig. Jason and Jillian dance. Not very well, wow, downright bad. But love is in the air. And they smooch. Jillian says “it’s the most intimate date I’ve ever been on.” I like this Jillian. She seems normal, bright and funny. Therefore, he’s sure not to pick her because Jason has crap taste.
After Jason takes her home, Jillian is grilled by the ladies of the house. She kisses and tells, which gets Melissa all wound up because she has the next date with him.
Melissa and Jason go to a beach to eat oysters, despite the fact that they are both repulsed by them. Jason says “Melissa fits the mold of what I’m usually attracted to…but usually these girls aren’t ready to be settled down.” She assures them that while she used to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, what she really wants to do is teach first grade. And take care of her kids in the summer. We see little hearts and flowers and chirping birdies surround Jason’s face as he looks lovesick. And then the Goodyear Blimp appears. Because it just isn’t a date until the blimp shows up.
So Melissa asks the Blimp all these questions like it’s the Magic 8 Ball and surprisingly, it actually answers. Then they wind up going up in the blimp for a make-out session. Melissa says it’s her first kiss in a long time. Jason says it’s the most passionate kiss he’s had in a long time which doesn’t bode well for Jillian since he was just snogging with her the night before.
Next date, next date. Jason is taking 8 girls out at once. First he takes them to a boutique to pick out slutty dresses to wear. Then they go to a fancy hotel that overlooks LA and Jason has one-on-one time with them. Erica is immediately jealous as she watches him with other women, apparently because her last boyfriend cheated on her with a 52-year-old. Hmmm. Very random comment but interesting insight into her world.
So what happens on this date? I can tell you some of it but not all because I was being summoned to bathroom a lot by a 2-year-old who kept insisting she had to poo. But here’s what I got. There was talent show which included some “breakdance” moves on Jason’s part. There was synchronized swimming. And then Molly came and dragged him off for smooches. Not to be outdone, Naomi does the same, pleased that her kiss was longer. Meanwhile, Nikki freaks out that all this kissing is going on because she’s only kissed one boy since she was 17 which honestly, seems a bit weird to me. A tad prissy, perhaps? Reality tv is not the best place for people who get hung up on these sorts of things. Molly gets the rose on this date, much to the dismay of Naomi. Apparently longer is not necessarily better.
And then it’s time to take all the ladies home. Like a true gentleman, Jason sees them to the door. In the meantime, Raquel the Brazilian Stalker sees this as an opportunity. She hops into his limo when he’s not looking. When he opens the door, there she is, all “hello Jason” in a smoky voice. Jason looks around to make sure the cameras are still there and Raquel is not going to chop him up in a million pieces. She says “are you sick of me yet?” Jason looks like he can’t push her out of the limo fast enough. Raquel later tell the camera she “wants to be with someone who loves her so much, if she died, he’d never marry again and Jason could be that man.” Again. Creeeeeepy. Thanks Morticia Adams.
By the way, Marylou, who is sitting right next to me right now, is concerned about Nikki’s sideburns. Carry on.
And then it is cocktail party time. Lisa from Idaho, who I frankly forgot existed, pulls Jason aside to let him know she is leaving due to a family illness. The other girls feign disappointment except for Lauren who says, “as long as I get a rose I don’t really care.” And then there is some brouhaha between Erica and Megan, the two most white trash girls in the house. I can’t tell you much more about it because this is when I was being summoned to the bathroom by a small person who wanted me to do “the Pee-Pee dance” in celebration of her latest victory. Here’s how the rose ceremony panned out. Keep in mind Molly, Jillian and Melissa are safe:
Rose #1 Megan—Ugh. Really? Isn’t the trailer park missing her yet?
Rose #2 Nikki
Rose #3 Lauren
Rose #4 Naomi
Rose #5 Stephanie
Rose #6 Kari
Rose #7 Nathalie
Rose #8 Stalker Shannon
Rose #9 Erica
Who’s out? Raquel the Brazilian Morticia and Sharon to quit her job to come here. Tune in next week when Jason and the girls strip for charity. No, I’m not kidding. Could I even make this up??
Happy Tuesday,
Nanette
The show started with more shots of Ty. I don’t know why this bugs me so much; we all know he has a kid, it just feels like Ty should have some say in whether or not he’s on tv. I’m sure when he’s like 12 he’ll be complaining to his shrink about it. Anyway, Ty is not staying around the Bachelor mansion to help Daddy pick up girls. No, Ty is headed back to Seattle to hang with his mysterious mother who broke Jay-Jay’s little heart.
Meanwhile, Chris the Dork Harrison introduces the ladies to their new mansion. He also explains that not everyone will go on a date with Jay-jay every week. This obviously sets the ladies off into a tizzy. So what did they do? Put on their bikinis and hop in the pool.
Ding-dong. Who’s there? Why, Jason of course. This sets the women into a further tizzy. Some of them are not wearing make-up or…gasp….wearing a ponytail! And the woman’s movement takes another mighty step back....
So ABC sees this as a great opportunity to force Jay-jay to give one woman a rose. Which means of course, they must all compete for his attention. Stalker Shannon is wearing a sequined bikini to hold up her fake boobs. A bold choice and not necessarily an attractive one. She attempts to attract his attention by throwing ice at him.
Then ABC makes a big ta-da moment out of Jason slowly taking off his shirt. They even do the slow-mo soft-porn camera. Full-on Velveeta moment. Botox Mom Stephanie sighs and says “he’s dreamy.”
And then Jillian the Hot Dog Lady is by his side, continuing to discuss the merits of different condiments. Still? We’re still talking about mustard here? Jason is disappointed to learn that Jillian originally thought he was a Ketchup Guy, which means Mama’s Boy. He assures her that he is most definitely a Mustard Dude. Of course he is. All Jewish guys eat mustard on their dogs. Duh.
In the meantime, Stalker Shannon smears Jay-jay with suntan lotion and calls touching Jason’s bare shoulders and chest “a gift.” Naomi the Eva Mendes Wannabe tries to impress Jason with all the charity work she’s done saving orphans. The most awkward moment of the night is when Stephanie attempts to politely interrupt Jason and Natalie. Poor thing makes him a drink…the kind you actually need to use a blender for….and stands there, holding it, waiting for him to invite to her speak. But he doesn’t. And Natalie doesn’t stop talking. So she just stands there like a waitress or something. Finally, she goes away. And drinks both drinks herself.
Finally, Jason gives the rose to Jillian the Hot Dog Lady, meaning she gets a special date with him that night. The girls are jealous until they realize Jillian will have to go out without having three hours to hot-roller her hair. Lauren says “Thank G-d it wasn’t me…I’d have to wear my hair in a ponytail!” G-d! Not a ponytail! The horror!
Jason is taking Jillian to Disney Hall which automatically impresses her because she is a fan of Frank Geary. I am just impressed she knows who he is. Jillian says “I didn’t think you’d be so cool…” In other words, she thought he’d be a big dork like the rest of America…or in her case, Canada. And then he says, “I’ve got another surprise for you…a surprise performance by Robin Thicke!” And she says “Get Oat!” or as we say here in the States, “Get out!” I kid. I actually think Canadian accents are quite charming. And Jillian is too and frankly much classier/brighter than most of the American girls on the show.
Now who is Robin Thicke you may ask? I did not know until last night because I apparently live under a rock. It seems as though he is the child of Alan Thicke of Family Matters, in case you care. He is also apparently been deemed “the most soulful white guy on the planet.” I suppose that’s a good thing. Though I do have to wonder if his career is going so well if this is his big gig. Jason and Jillian dance. Not very well, wow, downright bad. But love is in the air. And they smooch. Jillian says “it’s the most intimate date I’ve ever been on.” I like this Jillian. She seems normal, bright and funny. Therefore, he’s sure not to pick her because Jason has crap taste.
After Jason takes her home, Jillian is grilled by the ladies of the house. She kisses and tells, which gets Melissa all wound up because she has the next date with him.
Melissa and Jason go to a beach to eat oysters, despite the fact that they are both repulsed by them. Jason says “Melissa fits the mold of what I’m usually attracted to…but usually these girls aren’t ready to be settled down.” She assures them that while she used to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, what she really wants to do is teach first grade. And take care of her kids in the summer. We see little hearts and flowers and chirping birdies surround Jason’s face as he looks lovesick. And then the Goodyear Blimp appears. Because it just isn’t a date until the blimp shows up.
So Melissa asks the Blimp all these questions like it’s the Magic 8 Ball and surprisingly, it actually answers. Then they wind up going up in the blimp for a make-out session. Melissa says it’s her first kiss in a long time. Jason says it’s the most passionate kiss he’s had in a long time which doesn’t bode well for Jillian since he was just snogging with her the night before.
Next date, next date. Jason is taking 8 girls out at once. First he takes them to a boutique to pick out slutty dresses to wear. Then they go to a fancy hotel that overlooks LA and Jason has one-on-one time with them. Erica is immediately jealous as she watches him with other women, apparently because her last boyfriend cheated on her with a 52-year-old. Hmmm. Very random comment but interesting insight into her world.
So what happens on this date? I can tell you some of it but not all because I was being summoned to bathroom a lot by a 2-year-old who kept insisting she had to poo. But here’s what I got. There was talent show which included some “breakdance” moves on Jason’s part. There was synchronized swimming. And then Molly came and dragged him off for smooches. Not to be outdone, Naomi does the same, pleased that her kiss was longer. Meanwhile, Nikki freaks out that all this kissing is going on because she’s only kissed one boy since she was 17 which honestly, seems a bit weird to me. A tad prissy, perhaps? Reality tv is not the best place for people who get hung up on these sorts of things. Molly gets the rose on this date, much to the dismay of Naomi. Apparently longer is not necessarily better.
And then it’s time to take all the ladies home. Like a true gentleman, Jason sees them to the door. In the meantime, Raquel the Brazilian Stalker sees this as an opportunity. She hops into his limo when he’s not looking. When he opens the door, there she is, all “hello Jason” in a smoky voice. Jason looks around to make sure the cameras are still there and Raquel is not going to chop him up in a million pieces. She says “are you sick of me yet?” Jason looks like he can’t push her out of the limo fast enough. Raquel later tell the camera she “wants to be with someone who loves her so much, if she died, he’d never marry again and Jason could be that man.” Again. Creeeeeepy. Thanks Morticia Adams.
By the way, Marylou, who is sitting right next to me right now, is concerned about Nikki’s sideburns. Carry on.
And then it is cocktail party time. Lisa from Idaho, who I frankly forgot existed, pulls Jason aside to let him know she is leaving due to a family illness. The other girls feign disappointment except for Lauren who says, “as long as I get a rose I don’t really care.” And then there is some brouhaha between Erica and Megan, the two most white trash girls in the house. I can’t tell you much more about it because this is when I was being summoned to the bathroom by a small person who wanted me to do “the Pee-Pee dance” in celebration of her latest victory. Here’s how the rose ceremony panned out. Keep in mind Molly, Jillian and Melissa are safe:
Rose #1 Megan—Ugh. Really? Isn’t the trailer park missing her yet?
Rose #2 Nikki
Rose #3 Lauren
Rose #4 Naomi
Rose #5 Stephanie
Rose #6 Kari
Rose #7 Nathalie
Rose #8 Stalker Shannon
Rose #9 Erica
Who’s out? Raquel the Brazilian Morticia and Sharon to quit her job to come here. Tune in next week when Jason and the girls strip for charity. No, I’m not kidding. Could I even make this up??
Happy Tuesday,
Nanette
Bachelor Round-Up "It was like slow-motion when he took off his shirt...."
Oops, sorry that post went out with just the headline, no idea how that happened as I didn't press post. Anyway, quite an interesting show last night, I thought....anyone else?
More to come in the bloggy-blog later.
Cheers,
Nan
More to come in the bloggy-blog later.
Cheers,
Nan
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