Much Hairdo about Nothing

So I've got tons of hair. If you know me, you already know this. It has been a source of drama for a good part of my life. Tears, frustration, freaking out, etc. When I was 11, I actually got kicked out of a beauty salon because the guy said I was being "difficult." I'm not even making this up.

As I got older, I learned to tame the beast. Even though you could possibly hide things in there and it would not be seen for days. Even though A. pointed at it happily the other day and said "bush." Greeeat. A sure sign that I needed a haircut.

So I made an appt at one of those special curly-haired salons. I've been there before and the cut was great, the styling a disaster. But it was new girl and I figured, ah. She's new. She doesn't know how to tame the beast.

I thought I'd try again. I go to my same guy, who is great with curls despite having fantastic Asian hair that always looks amazing and never like a bush. And then he sends me off to have it styled by some other young 'un. Dude. I am like the ultimate test for new stylists? Like the MCATS or hair?

Needless to say, girlfriend can't do it. She must enlist the aid of another newbie. So they are both spritzing my hair and scrunching and combing and twisting. AT a certain point, I just ignore them and start reading my magazines. In case you're wondering, yellow is the new color for spring and no, I won't be wearing it. When I finally look up...it's a disaster. I say "you know, I'm just going home. Let's just skip it." But no. They won't let me go.

They bring in some guy who seems a lot older than them. I explain I am just going home and the most exciting thing I will do that night is make quiche and bathe my child and therefore I really don't need to look so fabulous so can I go home now please? The guy says "we want you to have the full effect." I say "really, I'm cool. I know you can do it. I just want to go. "
He says "no, really. you should stay." I feel bad. So I do.

When I look up again, it is frizzy and poofy and I feel like I'm 12 again. The guy makes a big show of proudly handing me the mirror. I must ooh and ahhh because that is what is expected of me and know the cut will look good so I don't care. The second I leave, I pull it all up into a knot so I don't scare people on the subway.

And that my friends, is much hairdo about nothing. And yes, it looks perfectly fine today.

Have a great Friday.

N